Thursday, September 8, 2011

Build Me Up, Team!

Recently I participated in an office "team-building" retreat. This is where you spend an entire day with co-workers and do all kinds of groovy activities--building models together, guessing fun facts about each other, playing  hot potato with Play-Doh.  Had we been allowed to nap, it would have been just like kindergarten.

We also took "personality" tests, which, thank goodness, I passed. I always suspected I had one, now I know for sure.  Each of us were also given I.Q. tests.  I won't reveal my score, but let's just say that I don't think MENSA is looking for me. On the other hand, I do have a few more brain cells than my cat. Just for the record, by the way, the cat disagrees.

So what did I learn during this team-building day? All kinds of useful things for the office, like:

1) Play-Doh is a timeless classic. Every day should have some built-in Play Doh time.

2) The co-worker who suggests we "share our most private secrets" is just as big a pain out of the office as s/he is in the office.

3) A good, free lunch goes a long way to making an all-day seminar a success. Don't skimp on the cookies.

4) Most people don't like being lectured on religion, politics, or sexual orientation. Believe me when I tell you that no one wants to hear opinions from you or your tee-shirt.

5) Doctors get real fidgety if you ask them about ghosts.

6) They also don't like to be poked. Trust me on this one.

7)  Nap time is woefully underestimated in the American workplace.

8) If you have to show your I.Q. test results to the cat to prove that you are the smarter one, then you, my friend, have already lost.

The whole team building day just totally exhausted me, so I am gone downy oshun next week. To relax. To recuperate. To walk along the water's edge, thinking about creative ways to get out of the next team-building day.

Unless, of course, the day will include a free lunch. With cookies. 

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