Monday, July 18, 2011

Questions for the Grey-Haired Goddess

Q: Dear Grey-Haired Goddess, where did you get your sense of humor?
A: I traded in my sense of direction. I might make you laugh, but you don't want to drive anywhere with me.

Q: When are you at your funniest? 
A: When I am drunk and attempting to explain the difference between op cit and ibit.

Q: What does your family think of the blog? 
A: Oh, you think I should tell them?

Q: It appears this entire blog is just an opportunity for you to talk about you, you, you, you, you. 
A: First, that is not a question. Secondly, I like to think of it as an expression of self-evolvement, not self-involvement.  And, thirdly--bitch. 

Q: What skills do you not possess but wish you did? 
A: Domestic skills. My friend Carolyn is a country gal who can lasso a cow, butcher it, clean it, then turn it in to the world's most delicious steaks. That is mighty impressive to someone like me who considers defrosting  a culinary skill.

Q: Do you think you've sold out? 
A: No, but not for lack of trying. You just missed my big Fourth of July sale, but I am slashing prices on myself for Labor Day. Somebody, please, make me an offer.

Q: Do you write every day? 
A: I try to, but these people at the office won't leave me the hell alone.

Q:  What is your favorite thing to write?
A:  My name on a big, fat check.

Q: Do you have a degree?
A: I have several degrees. A Bachelors Degree in Communication Arts. People wonder what, exactly, does one study to get a degree in C.A.? Um, actually, I don't quite remember, but I did have fun getting it. I also have a  Masters Degree in Dirty Looks and a Ph.D. in Whining. Of all the degrees, the Ph.D. in Whining has been, by far, the most useful.
Q: What advice do you have for younger writers? 
A: Write for the pleasure of writing, even if you never make a penny from your efforts. Plus, get out of my way. 

Q. I understand you have some esoteric philosophical views. Do you really believe in reincarnation?
A: Absolutely.

Q. What makes  you so sure this is true?
A: I don't mean to be rude, but you've already asked that question.

Q: I did. When?
A: In a past life. 

Q: Any parting words for all of your readers? 
A: You three are the best people ever!

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